Violence | Kindness

One of my co-workers rolled up to the door w/ a friend after closing time. Which isn't rare, so my first thought/words were, "%@&?, we're almost out of here." But I could see he was hurt so I motioned them to another door. He was really hurt. They had been jumped. His friend was hurt too but not as badly. They didn't want to call the police. I locked the door and went for the first aid kit to see what was under all that blood. There's no crying in waitressing. I cleaned up his face with a warm wet towel, asked questions, found a cold pack, asked a few more times about calling the police, found the bacitracin, asked my other co-worker to call a cab, gave him some acetaminophen in lieu of ibuprofen (better for inflammation). We waited. His friend rode home. We locked his bike in the back. He wanted to sleep. I kept asking about a concussion, giving motherly advice and putting my hands on him whenever appropriate. A third co-worker got out of bed to come take him home.

My fellow closer said he was worried about safety for the first time. I wondered if I was safe riding my bike home. They had been attacked when vulnerable, one man down, my co-worker attempting to help his friend up. I was already in rout while my fellow closer and I said our goodbyes. I thought about war. Violence. Wounded soldiers, but mostly wounded people who beget what they get. I'm not defending the perpetrators.

I can see where violence comes from. Us. The tears start a quarter block from home. In my apartment I make it to the bathroom, sit on the edge of the tub and sob (I share the wall against my bed w/ my neighbors toddler and I don't want to disturb her sleep w/ despair). I feel sorry for myself being alone with this shock/ world-ache. I think of reaching out, wishing for someone to put their hands on me. I think of his face. I think of the children who have seen their mothers face wounded that way (and worse) who have felt theirs, their father's, their bodies. And war again and innocence. Humans’ enactment and defense of violence. I wish to be sheltered or depart from the world’s seemingly insurmountable violence while I sob for a few more moments. Then I think, I can do-- this!

I can write KINDNESS and mean it! I can write RANDOM ACTS OF KINDNESS! Be kind to people whether you want to or not. I'm not so naive to think that my friends could have been kind to their attackers any more than innocent people on the ground could be kind to missiles to prevent the onslaught of physical and emotional pain. I wonder if my friend’s attackers had experienced any kindness from strangers that day?

When you feel; threatened, afraid, offended or just plain mad, think a moment, or a few, or minuets (if you don't need to run or holler for help), whatever it takes. "By any means necessary" PRACTICE KINDNESS!